Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize