Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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