I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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