So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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