Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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