Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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