you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
lets start a swedish sibling band together
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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