oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.