i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
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Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?