He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
