Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?

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(737): View more from Texas

and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"

(303): View more from Colorado

I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."

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(740): View more from Ohio

you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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(415): View more from California

Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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(518): View more from New York

The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future

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