Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.

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  (402): she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook. http://tfl.nu/e703
  Replies (9) Good night (1167) Bad night (5253)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4074) Bad night (595)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

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  (859): this weekend will be like the season finale to my life http://tfl.nu/589p
  Replies (22) Good night (4080) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6181) Bad night (769)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.

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  (417): Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home. http://tfl.nu/79mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2937) Bad night (2756)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

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  (518): I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son. http://tfl.nu/kmmn
  Replies (5) Good night (4646) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.

  (917): View more from New York City

  what ever happened to our old dealer?

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  (973): I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day. (917): what ever happened to our old dealer? http://tfl.nu/28sz
  Replies (1) Good night (2353) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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  (857): They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash http://tfl.nu/jeu8
  Replies (10) Good night (2478) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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  (630): Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-) http://tfl.nu/n299
  Replies (8) Good night (1914) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (1503)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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  (832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht
  Replies (4) Good night (1832) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
  Replies (9) Good night (560) Bad night (2096)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.

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  (605): I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more. http://tfl.nu/w7nf
  Replies (14) Good night (1349) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.

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  (301): Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging. http://tfl.nu/m3cv
  Replies (7) Good night (1532) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

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  (210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue
  Replies (9) Good night (1286) Bad night (430)

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