Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.