: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
