Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.