Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
ok first of all what the fuck
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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