She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
