OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
