Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize