she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
