Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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