going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
