Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
