Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
