I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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