I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
