I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
