you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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