it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
