Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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