It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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