I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
