so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize