my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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