So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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