umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
