I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
