if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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