I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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