Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So vagazzling was a success
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
