I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
