Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
