it was like eating out sand paper
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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