Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
