Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
