If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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