Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
