Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
