good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
