party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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