Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
