I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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