How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize