Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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