im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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