It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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