I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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