I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
