For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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