apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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