the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
