Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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