I just saw a hot homeless man
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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