i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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