Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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