If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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