youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
