YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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