We named our party play list daddy issues
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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