i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
