I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What a dumb baby whore.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize