Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got inside last night via doggy door
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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