I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
