I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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