Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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