dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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