I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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