I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well most of my day revolves around power hour
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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