I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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