I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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