You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
