I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
