Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
